♥ YOLO ♥

fuckyeahricksantorum:

Rick Santorum happily sat at his desk in his hotel room, doodling a rainbow on a sheet of paper and covering it with glue, glitter, and various heart-shaped stickers. He wrote “YOLO” in big bubble letters at the top, then sighed contentedly before taking out his pink, jewel-encrusted laptop. He scrolled through the “fuckyeahricksantorum” tumblr blog for about thirty wonderful minutes, then opened up one of the desk drawers and grabbed his red Etch-a-Sketch. He’d just begun drawing a fabulous unicorn on it when Mitt Romney suddenly burst through the door.

“I am not a fucking Etch-a-Sketch!” Mitt yelled as he quickly strode over to where Rick sat. He angrily grabbed the red toy from Rick’s hands and threw it onto the floor, causing it to shatter into pieces.

Rick watched with a shocked expression, his eyes wide and scared. “W-well, maybe your advisor shouldn’t make such idiot statements,” he stammered and stood up.

Mitt growled and roughly pushed him onto the nearby bed. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. At least my advisors and I don’t talk about gay sex all the time!”

“H-hey, it’s an important issue! America needs to know how disgusting it is!” Rick whimpered.

“Disgusting? Well, let’s see how you feel after tonight.” Mitt smirked.

Rick shuddered, feeling both nervous and thrilled. Little did Mitt know, he’d fantasized about this for so long. Ever since the campaign had started, it’d been so difficult to repress his urges for the handsome Mormon. And now, here he was, sitting on a bed while Mitt stood in front of him, slowly licking his lips.

Rick took a deep breath, then laid himself onto his back.

“My body is ready.” 

(submitted by saxystar)

[author’s note: Okay, so I’m bored. This is based on Romney’s advisor calling his campaign an etch-a-sketch and this video.]

this is beautiful

The noise I just made. Crying from laughter tbh

fuckyeahricksantorum:

megoda:

fuckyeahricksantorum:

and

omg this is gorgeous and for some reason now I need to see Rick in the Men in Black

Agent R

omg

i 

am

crying

fuckyeahricksantorum:

dracomon:

believe in ur butt

UGLY LAUGHTER

(Fonte: kodori)

thelilnan:

cornerof5thandvermouth:

thelilnan:

cornerof5thandvermouth replied to your post: glad most people forgot i did RSK drabbles last…

LINK i swear to god i ship it now

what won’t you ship

• mail over 13 oz that was put in a blue postal box
• alcohol
• firearms
• prescription drugs
• cigarettes
• smokeless tobacco
• perfumes
• nail polish
• flea collars/flea sprays
• aerosols
• bleach
• pool chemicals
• paints
• matches
• batteries
• fuels or gasoline
• dry ice
• airbags
• mercury thermometers
• cleaning supplies
• items previously containing fuel
• glues
• fireworks
• small children

rolls eyes so hard it throws the earth off rotation and we all go screaming into the sun

omg this fucking post lol

damegreywulf:

princemilk:

oh my god i’m at the grocery store and there is a guy in the frozen section who is tweaked off his balls on some kind hallucinatory drug. 

i’m in the next isle meowing softly through the cereal boxes where he can’t see me and he is losing his shit pulling pizza boxes out of the freezers and yelling that he needs to save the popsicle cat 

am i a bad person  

fuck…….

(Fonte: mjolkk)